| 論壇首頁● 最新帖子● 主題搜尋● 社區娛樂● 資料修改● 會員註冊● 會員登錄● 離開系統 |
| 留言簿● 精品區● 我的主題● 我的檔案●萬年曆● |
天下文壇
>
英文詩苑
>
Silver Boat (HAIKU)
|
畢泠 江山如畫
|
發表主題
發起投票 | 關 閉 窗 口
|
| 發帖人 主題標題： | Silver Boat (HAIKU) 回覆數: 5 點數: 803 | 第 1 樓 |
|
|
時間：2004-11-26 16:38
|
|
|
Silver Boat (HAIKU) 摘自 天下文壇 寒鴉 2004-11-26 16:38 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl __Silver Boat (HAIKU) Is that a silver boat? The misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? ．．．．．．．．．．．．．． __Silver Boat That is, that is, that Misty moon sailing, innocent Can't she arrive the shore? 天下文壇 天下文壇 寒鴉 2004-11-26 16:38 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
||
| 回覆： | 第 2 樓 |
|
|
時間：2005-00-04 01:51
|
|
|
摘自 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 01:51 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl 寒鴉詞長新年好！ http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/#whatishaiku This link has the information and samples of poems about Haiku. Haiku can almost describe anything, usually express the feelings or seeing...... Would suggest to change the first line to make it more connected with the second line, then the 3rd line to confirm the 2nd line with question. Also, Can't she arrive the shore is not a proper expressing. Arrival/arriving is a situation expected, it doesn't go well with cant. However, yours is very original though, it's kind of cute. Here are the suggestions and some of poems from Haiku poets for your reference. 5-7-5 Hey, look, what is that? The Misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? [color=olive:6e85056205]When will she arrive shore?[/color:6e85056205] (Can she reach the shore) or (When will she arrive [color=olive:6e85056205]the[/color:6e85056205] shore? ………………………………………………………………………………………… In all the rains of May there is one thing not hidden - the bridge at Seta Bay. Without flowing wine How to enjoy lovely Cherry blossoms? Sick and feverish Glimpse of cherry blossoms Still shivering. Green frog, Is your body also freshly painted? An old pond! A frog jumps in- The sound of water. ………………………………………………………………………… __Silver Boat That is, that is, that Misty moon sailing, innocent Can't she arrive the shore? :arrow: 天下文壇 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 01:51 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
漢語在線 ~ 迴風小築 ~ 相逢即有緣，給您最大的祝福 ... |
||
| 回覆： | 第 3 樓 |
|
|
時間：2005-00-04 21:46
|
|
|
摘自 天下文壇 寒鴉 2005-00-04 21:46 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl Silver Boat (HAIKU) I wonder, is that a silver boat? The misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? 天下文壇 天下文壇 寒鴉 2005-00-04 21:46 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
|
||
| 回覆： | 第 4 樓 |
|
|
時間：2005-00-04 22:38
|
|
|
摘自 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 22:38 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl It's good! You have 2 choices, one is as is, not to bind with the line limits, or if you want to make it a 5-7-5 type, then you could do it as: Is that silver boat? (a) The misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? ................................................................. Silver Boat (HAIKU) I wonder, is that a silver boat? The misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? :arrow: 天下文壇 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 22:38 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
漢語在線 ~ 迴風小築 ~ 相逢即有緣，給您最大的祝福 ... |
||
| 回覆： | 謝畢詞長! i still had hard time in counting | 第 5 樓 |
|
|
時間：2005-00-04 22:51
|
|
|
謝畢詞長! i still had hard time in counting 摘自 天下文壇 寒鴉 2005-00-04 22:51 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl sure i wish to make it a 5-7-5 type.. __Silver Boat (HAIKU) Is that a silver boat? The misty moon sailing! Indeed. Can she reach the shore? 天下文壇 天下文壇 寒鴉 2005-00-04 22:51 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
|
||
| 回覆： | 第 6 樓 |
|
|
時間：2005-00-04 23:07
|
|
|
摘自 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 23:07 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl __Silver Boat (HAIKU) Is that a silver boat? (a) should be taken out) 1---1--1-1-1---1-- The misty moon sailing! Indeed. --1---1------1----1-1---1---1-- Can she reach the shore? --1----1--1------1---1---- I guess these are the countings, if I am wrong, somebody, please correct me! 8-) :arrow: 天下文壇 天下文壇 畢泠 2005-00-04 23:07 http://yuhsia.com/ccb/index.pl |
||
|
漢語在線 ~ 迴風小築 ~ 相逢即有緣，給您最大的祝福 ... |
||
 社區在線 589 人 |
發表主題
發起投票 | 關 閉 窗 口
|
| 回覆選項: 限註冊會員 HTML代碼 限積分 以上 |
|
Powered by CCB Version 201105 © 2007-2015 All Rights Reserved |
| Processed in cpu:1 ms, page:11 ms,Read:15, Write:6 |